How to tell a restaurant about a food allergy (and what to ask)

The clearest way to tell a restaurant about a food allergy is to say it early, say it to more than one person, and put it in writing. Call ahead and ask for a manager, tell the manager or head server again before you are seated, and hand over a chef card that lists your allergens and asks for your food to be prepared away from them. Then ask how your dish is made. This is the approach FARE recommends in its dining-out guidance.

Saying it more than once is not fussy. A CDC study of 278 restaurants found that only 44.4% of managers, 40.8% of food workers and 33.3% of servers reported having had any food allergy training, according to the CDC’s report. Many staff want to help but may not know what cross-contact means in practice, so clear, calm information gives them the best chance to get it right.

FARE suggests starting with recommendations from your allergist or other families managing food allergies, and checking the restaurant’s website and menu in advance. Some places carry more risk by their nature.

Chain restaurants can be a practical option, especially when you travel, because each location is likely to use the same ingredients and methods. Many chains publish allergen information online.

It is also worth knowing how much information a kitchen is likely to have. In the same CDC study, 55.2% of managers said their restaurant had ingredient lists or recipes for all or most menu items, while 25.3% had none. A restaurant that can show you a written ingredient list or recipe is in a much better position to answer your questions than one relying on memory. If you are going to a catered event where food is made in advance, FARE suggests asking early whether an allergy-friendly option is possible.

1. Call during a quiet time, not at the lunch or dinner rush, and ask for the manager.
2. Name your allergens clearly and say whether even small amounts are a problem for you.
3. Ask whether they can prepare a meal for you safely, and how.
4. Book for early in a service. FARE notes the first hour of a service period is often best, when staff are fresh and the kitchen is at its least hectic.
5. Note the name of the person you spoke to, so you can mention them when you arrive.

A chef card is a wallet-sized card that lists your food allergies and explains that your food must be prepared in a washed, separate area to avoid cross-contact. FARE offers free chef card templates in English and ten other languages, including Spanish, French, Italian, German, Japanese and Chinese.

• List every allergen you need to avoid, using simple, common names.
• Ask for washed utensils, pans and surfaces, and fresh gloves.
• Ask for your plate to be kept apart from others on its way out of the kitchen.
• Hand it to your server and ask for it to be shown to the chef. FARE suggests this rather than relying on the server to pass on the message.
• Carry a few copies, since restaurants may keep the card in the kitchen.

FARE notes that translated cards may have slight differences because of regional dialects, so treat them as a helpful tool, not a guarantee. A chef card also works well for intolerances and conditions such as celiac disease or IBS, where you may need to mention ingredients like garlic, onion or gluten.

FARE advises asking what is in your dish and how it is prepared, making sure your server understands what you are allergic to, and explaining that cross-contact must be avoided. Useful questions include:

• “Does this dish, or any sauce, dressing, marinade or garnish on it, contain [allergen]?”
• “Is anything made in advance or bought in, such as sauces, breads or desserts? Can you check those labels?”
• “Is the fryer oil shared with foods that contain [allergen]?”
• “Is the grill or griddle used for other foods? Could mine be cooked in a washed pan instead?”
• “Can the chef use washed utensils and boards, and fresh gloves, for my order?”
• “Will you let me know if anything about my dish cannot be changed?”

If you have to ask a lot of complicated questions about a dish, FARE suggests choosing something simpler, such as a baked potato, broiled chicken or steamed vegetables. It also advises being very careful with desserts, which are often bought in from specialty suppliers, so staff may not have a full ingredient list.

Cross-contact happens when one food touches another and their proteins mix, leaving amounts so small you usually cannot see them. FARE explains that even these tiny amounts have caused reactions, and that cooking does not remove an allergen from food.

The CDC found that only 19.1% of restaurant managers reported having dedicated utensils or equipment for allergen-free food, and only 10.3% of those with fryers had a dedicated fryer. That is why it is worth asking directly rather than assuming. If a staff member offers to “just take it off” your plate, that is your cue to explain that the dish needs to be made fresh.

FARE is clear that you should never feel embarrassed if you are not communicating well, and that you should trust your gut. Sometimes the safest choice is to enjoy the company, skip the meal, and eat somewhere safe afterward. Signs it may be time to go include:

• Staff seem unsure what your allergen is or brush the question off.
• Nobody can check the ingredients of a sauce, bread or dessert.
• You are told it is “probably fine” rather than given a clear answer.
• The kitchen cannot avoid a shared fryer, grill or surface for your dish.
• Your food arrives with the allergen on it, even if it is removed afterward.

Leaving is not a failure. If a restaurant looks after you well, FARE suggests telling them and going back, since building a relationship with one place can make eating out feel easier over time. Worry around eating out is very common; our guide to food anxiety has gentle ideas.

No matter how carefully you plan, FARE advises never leaving home without your epinephrine auto-injector and any other medications, and wearing medical identification. If epinephrine is prescribed, FARE and ACAAI both advise carrying two doses, because a second dose is needed in about 20% of anaphylaxis cases.

1. Keep your auto-injectors with you at the table, not in a coat or car.
2. Tell the people you are eating with where they are and how to use them.
3. If you notice symptoms of a severe reaction, use epinephrine as your allergist has directed and call 911 or your local emergency number.
4. Tell the dispatcher that epinephrine was given, and go to the emergency room even if you feel better.

For a fuller overview of reaction signs and an emergency plan, see our guide to the major food allergens.